Stuff Accountants Like

While accountants have money, they didn’t get this way by paying $10 for Wi-Fi.

Accountants are more wired up than a Christmas tree. Fact. As such, an accountant lugs around their smartphone, laptop, and iPod everywhere. Using free Wi-Fi allows them to check Facebook, Perez Hilton, and e-mail (if time allows).

Free wi-fi can come from many sources. Reputable sources include coffee shops, sandwich places, and bookstores. Less credible Wi-Fi hotspots include hotel networks, unsecured office Wi-Fi, or an apartment neighbor’s router. As long as accountants are able to get a connection, they are not picky.

Typical company guidelines forbid connecting to these unsecure connections. This makes sense as working on and sharing confidential documents over a risky network can ruin everything. The reason accountants ignore company policy is for the same reason that laptop locks are never used. It’s inconvenient and besides nothing bad will ever happen to them.

Accountants also tend to have a college student mentality guiding their decisions. If it works and it’s free, so much the better. This also fits in well with company provided alcohol and office perks.

Accountants will always appreciate free Wi-Fi. There is no known instance in history (unrecorded or recorded) where an accountant turned down free internet – whether to check Facebook or Outlook. So you can imagine how persistent accountants get locating free Wi-Fi. Even if their battery was dying in an airport terminal, an accountant would try the aptly titled “FRee W1r3less N0w” and all ten other networks within range.

If you want to get rid of an accountant, just tell them that they can get a better Wi-Fi signal in the room to the right of the elevator that’s next to the snack room. If the Wi-Fi doesn’t pan out, they’ll be busy working on the pantry.

Tags: #48, Free Wi-Fi, No dollar dollar bill y'all