This blog is dedicated to stuff that accountants like
Posted in List on Sep 16th, 2009
All accountants are alcoholics. An alcoholic is a person who by definition cannot get enough alcohol and constantly seeks more. Not surprisingly, this fits all accountants, from those who drink by themselves to those who are always dressed for the club while at work. Throughout college, accountants grew up on beer. A few of them […]
Posted in List on Sep 9th, 2009
With H1N1 in the news, accountants are not taking any chances. Accountants are buying Airborne under the impression that it confers some sort of benefits. The amazing thing is that it is not even peak flu season, AKA winter, yet. Preventative medication is important as accountants are too busy to ever go to the doctor, […]
Posted in List on Sep 4th, 2009
While accountants have money, they didn’t get this way by paying $10 for Wi-Fi. Accountants are more wired up than a Christmas tree. Fact. As such, an accountant lugs around their smartphone, laptop, and iPod everywhere. Using free Wi-Fi allows them to check Facebook, Perez Hilton, and e-mail (if time allows). Free wi-fi can come […]
Posted in List on Aug 19th, 2009
Similar to maintaining the pending list, accountants are endlessly preparing, updating, and reporting their current status. If you thought twitter asking “What are you doing?” gets old, just try and imagine working with accountants who constantly ask what are you doing all day long. It is important for accountants to set action items and get […]
Posted in List on Aug 12th, 2009
Accountants collect ID badges like kids in the late ’90s collected pogs. An ID badge is typically a card with the accountant’s photo and name on it. This allows access to facilities and parking around the clock. It’s common for senior accountants to have a deck of ID badges dangling off a retractable clip. Depending […]
Posted in List on Aug 5th, 2009
A major pastime of accountants is office pranks. While this post can’t do justice to all the great pranks out there, it can serve as a basic primer. As seen on The Office, office pranks are a daily reality that make the work environment tolerable. It can be argued that more energy goes into planning […]
Posted in List on Jul 22nd, 2009
Accountants have a need to follow the rules. It creates order, and life is just simpler when everything goes the way it should. While work never goes the way it should, accountants can at least rely on the established pen color hierarchy. The pen color hierarchy varies company to company, even office to office. When […]
Posted in List on Jul 16th, 2009
You might not expect it, but accountants are nonstop gossipers. This could be because it happens behind your back. Not just yourself, but everyone they work with and run into. The Starbucks barista? Check. The receptionist in the lobby? Check. The accountant’s manager? Check. When accountants get together and spread gossip, it’s usually not never […]
Posted in List on Jul 7th, 2009
Accountants know the answer to everything, provided that everything first shows up in the first few results of a Google search. Accountants rely on web search for everything. Financial ratios, stock quotes, exchange rates, press releases, and lunch spots – everything is a click away. Since Google is the current reigning market leader, we can […]
Posted in List on Jun 24th, 2009
Accountants work a lot. This much is known. Since accountants don’t sleep much, this entails a lot of irregular rituals – getting coffee 3 times a day, never working out, and staying past the late night cleaning crew. Since accountants are always “working” throughout the day, they are constantly making phone calls, sending out e-mails, […]