Stuff Accountants Like

With H1N1 in the news, accountants are not taking any chances. Accountants are buying Airborne under the impression that it confers some sort of benefits. The amazing thing is that it is not even peak flu season, AKA winter, yet.

Preventative medication is important as accountants are too busy to ever go to the doctor, let alone ever get sick. Seeing a doctor or having less time for workpapers is not an option. The reality (as harsh as it is) is that sick people get bad performance reviews and don’t stay with the company as long. That is why getting sick carries a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. This means, if an accountant gets sick, they need to work through the pain. Yes, this is truly a sign of progressive work-life balance in practice.

Instead of following common sense – such as exposure to sunlight daily, exercising regularly, and eating healthy – accountants rely on a concoction of Airborne and mineral water for their health needs. Accountants will buy tubes and tubes of this stuff despite unsubstantiated benefits.

Airborne also doesn’t address the actual cause of illness during busy season: a lack of sleep in cubicles (read: close proximity) with other accountants who are also highly susceptible to illness due to bad practices (no exercise, repetitive tasks, etc).

Airborne’s taste is subjective, but that doesn’t mean it tastes great. Have you heard of Redbull? That is another product accountants depend on, and it’s not for the taste.

If an accountant is feeling unwell, you should offer them some genuine advice as a friend. Tell them to put down the Airborne and get more than 4 hours of sleep.

Tags: #49, Health, Planning Doc, Preventative Measures, Procedures, Taking Airborne, Wellness