About this site
This website is about Stuff That Accountants Like.
It is published using WordPress with the Misty Look theme.
Note that this site was inspired by StuffWhitePeopleLike.com, and we are huge fans of Christian Lander’s work. Thus, these sites are not affiliated.
About the Author(s)
The author(s) of this site have come from a Big4 public accounting background and don’t really understand the term “work/life balance.”
Feel free to contact us at stuffaccountantslike [at] gmail.com
I am a CPA who has been doing auditing at various local public accounting firms since 1987. You are right – this profession is miserable to be in. Also, I feel for you as you try to express your dismay and also be clever. Sad to say, however, that this stuff is just plain not funny – just the sad truth. After reading everything on this website, I am just more depressed than I already was. Maybe I need to up my Prozac, especially with the long hours here. Good luck, and I hope you have escaped doing accounting work and are now doing something more fun and creative. (But this website is not it.)
I think one item left unmentioned, yet highly relied upon, is our use of anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication. I don’t think you can call yourself an accountant, especially, Big-4, if you aren’t currently on mood altering prescription medication or if you don’t have an OCD.
Other things accountants like not yet listed but needing an explanation:
WIP & Billing
Conference Calls
Greasy Take Out
Oh the list goes on and on.
USB 10 keys?
Other things we like
1) Realization, or lack thereof
2) Budgets
3) Traveling (low per diem too)
4) Inputting your time
5) Looking at last year’s workpapers
And we love staring at our computer monitors 24/7. Great for the eyes.
You guys are hilarious. At first, I will not lie – I was offended that you seem to have bitten the style and approach of my favorite site, Stuff White People LIke.
Having come from a similar background but only blogging for sites like my own and http://www.theneave.com, the humor you guys present here is only attainable if you have lived as an auditor or better yet a slave to the Big 4. Are you guys looking for more writers or would you accept some posts from me? Please advise. Thanks and best, Bitta.
These are very true…however whiteout tape, really, at # 2? I think most of us are not using paper files anymore. And how about something on technology…the fact that we have our laptops on all the time and when by luck, we close them, we have our Blackberry’s…But when we are on our laptops we have an infinite amount of ways of being contacted here is the short list: email, voicemail, voicemail that is sent to our email inbox, fax, faxes that are sent to our email inbox; and if that is not enough there is the world of inter-company instant messaging. Where at any time you could be IM’d by an intern, admin, audit assistant, audit in charge, senior, manager, senior manager, director, sr director, partner, senior partner, regional partner, regional senior partner and so on til you get some instant message from the Global CEO telling you how his vacation is!
Agree with 4! I have this strange love for wireless 10-keys!!
Don’t forget acronyms.
My first two weeks had my head spinning with all the acronyms that got tossed around.
I’m in love with SALY…
Someone really needs to talk about busy work.
This is not only hysterical but so pathetically true. I think now all accountant firms should require employees to be witty,sarcastic, and on the verge of alcoholism in order to work in this profession. Because the only accountants I know are the most out of control people ive ever met…
What about how they keep changing the calculator model that is stocked in the supply room. Even though this seems harmless, it is an evil plot by the higher powers to waste more time as the simply ability to add several numbers must be relearned every couple months. The damn keys keep moving to different positions on the calculators.
When are they going to return to the gold standard of calculators (elsi mate el-334m) of a few years ago.
Interns
One think that has been missed…accountants love pretending to be friends with the people they work with (usually females it seems). While working for a big firm I was always so amazed how nice the girls where to each other, until one of them was out of the room…meow.
Please don’t forget about 2 lost things.
1)Busy Season is to accountants like an abusive man is to a battered woman. When you’re getting beat it sucks and you always talk about leaving. But when things are good (summertime) you forget about all the bruises and allow yourself to become romanced again, until you get hit with another busy season. The cycle keeps going…
2)All the weightloss plans each audit team makes, but ultimately everyone just gets fatter together each year, b/c the overtime meals are free so you get as much stuff as you can for that $XX limit per person.
Really like the site, but I don’t know if it will be complete until it has posts on PBC Lists.
I mean, how else are you going to shift the blame – appropriately – for missing a deadline to the client, unless you can prove that you have reminded them with 30 “Updated PBC” lists over the last 10 days.
Oh the PBC List…. as soon as you send it out… I swear you get client confusion, anger, and questions on how the audit is getting more complicated- when in reality, the PBC list hasn’t changed. Oh auditing, my friend and my foe!!!!
What do you think about:
“Face time” and “It is what it is”
Blackberries or other handheld devices that provide an opportunity to check email at 2:00am and the second the plane lands.
Folding and stuffing (TWSS) confirmations. Classic intern activity regardless of technology. It still is done the same old way.
I don’t know how many times I’ve dreamt of quitting the profession but just can’t seem to do it! I guess I’m just one of those sad old auditors that knows nothing else. What do we do it for? 12 hour days, a grumpy wife and kids I never see! I should have been a chef.
ps no food at my firm either, so can’t get fat. No coffee either, now that’s just torture!
Amen on staring at computer monitors 24/7. And all the big fours have terrible vision plans….nonexistent vision plans more like
How about sending pointless emails at 2am to prove how late you’re staying at work?
Also: privacy screens. Enough said.
Stuff Accountants Like #15:
Talking about their utilization rate like its a sport. Like the Olympics. As in:
Accountant 1: “Omigod! My utilization was at an all time high this month. 112%!”
Accountant 2: “112%?! That’s nothing. When I worked at a client that was restating its financials my utlization was 127%!”
Accountant 3: “Please, no one can top my 150% back in 2004.”
having A.D.D. (you know… to get that prescription of adderall so you actually can do work all night)
Other Items:
- people thinking busy season is because it’s tax season
- checklists
- sign-offs
- review notes
- challenging last years work and writing review notes about accounts that haven’t changed and were signed off on in the prior year
- chipotle
- messengers
- expense audits
-Working all weekend because your senior is a spaz just so you can have 55 hours by Wednesday at noon and be done with everything
-Followed by that same senior now letting your time go because there is nothing for you to work on
-Followed by another team picking you up for Thursday and Friday
-Followed by your new team working until 11 p.m. Thurs night and 7:30 Fri only to come back to work at 8 a.m. Saturday
-All in the mean time, your first senior that let you go Wednesday has been going home at 5 the past two days and is not working Saturday
-Now that’s Big 4 love
Don’t forget:
1. Whiteboards
2. Lunch and Learn
3. Webcasts
4. April Fools Day
5. Electric Pencil Sharpeners
7. Dual Monitors
8. Laptops
9. Blackberries/Treos
10. Nice Rulers
12. Sharp Compet QS-2130 (portable 10 key)
Don’t forget first years… and I couldn’t agree more about the Sharp Compet QS-2130 (portable 10 key)…. Footing contests are always fun…. and holiday parities…. binder clips are must… oh and the hierarchy of pencil colors (where I worked, staff used red, seniors blue, managers and above green, partners ink and only ink).
Throwing in as many business expressions into a conversation… “at the end of the day” “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water” etc. Makes accountants feel very important.
We love supply rooms.
I am proud of my three screens. Anybody have four yet?
Going forward I think there should be a blog reconciling the idea that findings show an auditor has done good job and not let any exceptions slip through, with the idea that findings just mean more work for us…
I’m still waiting for the following items being added to the list:
1) Progress tracker
2) Eating takeout in front of computer
3) Most importantly – Crackberry Addiction.
I would have my blackberry surgically attached, if possible.
Thanks for making my first busy season awesome. Everytime I get an update, it just makes my day. It’s almost as good finding out that you didn’t lose three days worth of testing when your computer randomly shutdown and closed your 15 open spreadsheets.
Suggestion–Going out for meals. When the partner/manager, joins the team on an out of town engagement, any and all work takes a backseat to what exotic cuisine the team will be enjoying in southeast fum-buck VA. Emails will be sent to staff and seniors, not of the latest FASB or updates to testing, but of zagat pages and recommendations.
In return, the managers and partners will receive screen shots of google maps detailing the closest restaurants to the client, to the hotel, number of stars, proximity to the bars for after dinner drinks, and attachments of any and all menus.
Like any engagement, it is, after all, a team effort.
There should be a “Stuff Accountants Hate” list as well – like spreadsheets that aren’t properly formatted for printing, and nightmares about tying out financials…
How about the bad food in client cafeterias? Expensive and horrible. I only wish that the whole ‘lunch break’ held true for auditors so I could get out of there and get something decent to eat. Oh well, there’s always left overs from the prior nights free dinner.
You’ve got to love the acronyms. Our firm throws them out for just about everything – and you’ll see everyone sitting in training wondering what it means, but nobody will ask because we all want to look like we’re really smart. I have a few that I’ve come up with myself, but they could be offensive to some, so I’ll refrain from sharing.
things accountants hate:
REVIEW NOTES
ANY LATER VERSIONS OF PBC’S AFTER ORIGINAL ONE (JUST BECAUSE THE CLIENT FORGOT TO SEND THE MOST UPDATED ONE)
BALANCE SHEETS THAT DO NOT BALANCE (IT HAPPENS…)
ABUSIVE CLIENTS THAT LIKE TO YELL AND STOMP
EATING THE SAME SH*TTY TAKE-OUT EVERYNIGHT
Worse than busy season are budgets, time sheets, and STAFF.
The absolute worst are members of your team who annoy the crap out of you…this usually means all of your staff members. Especially the know-it-alls and the really unintelligent ones. Worst of both worlds.
training and cpe! esp when you go out of town for it. when you’re done for the day, you go out and drink all night with your newfound friends, then suffer through more training the next day while hungover.
Suggestions for stuff accountants hate:
1) Incompetent superiors who do nothing and delegate everything
2) Blackberry being out-of-service
3) Conference calls at 4AM or 11PM due to having to accommodate time zone differences
Hey,
I am a Recruiter currently recruiting for a publicly held company in both our HQs in New York and Califorina for an Audit Manager(california) and Sr. Internal Auditor(New York). The positions offers a very lucrative compensation and benefits package and for all those Auditors that complain about their very very long hours, you might want to hear more about this opportunity. Big 4 or 8 experience preferred. If you would like to find out more about the position( get a job description, salary, perks, work environment….) email me at cwilliams_kg@hotmail.com and title it Auditor.
Thank you.
Auditor Recruiter.
where is SOX/Controls/Walkthroughs…and of course the BLACKBERRY!! there must be a blackberry blog. this site made me laugh so hard. thanks for the memories!
omg hilarious!! i used to work at a big 4 & i laughed out loud when i read this. a few things that must be added:
- rolling vacation hours
- firm outing days, another excuse to bail on work & drink
- for that matter, alcohol. nobody drinks more than accountants
- red & blue pencils, plus highlighters!
-
i don’t think i would be able to make it through busy season without drinks!! i actually work better when i’m hung over the next day. i bet if you were to raid AA meetings, accounting would be the profession with the most representation.
Auditor Recruiter….wtf…you are a recruiter looking for big four experience and the best you can do is a hotmail account…I hate recruiters!
How about dress codes? I love it when the client wears jeans and I’m stuck in an uncomfortable skirt suit! No matter how many times the client says the team can dress down, it’s against firm policy!
This site is a great stress reliever! How about something about procrastinating and fire drills – when a manager/partner tells you not to worry about something and then all of a sudden it turns into the biggest problem you have before finalizing and it needs to be done yesterday…hence, working ridiculously long hours hopped up on coffee then going out to drink the night away once you’re done.
making lame accountant jokes, while acting like you know it’s a lame accountant joke and are telling it to be ironically funny, but actually really thinking that it’s a funny joke.
You need to post an article on the legendary phrase used by all auditors “appears reasonable, pass further investigation”….
What about the twitching eyes around April 15th? Maybe Im the only one.
I’ll have to agree with the budget. It’s just funny that the firm’s policy is report all of your time but if you do, you get crap from the manager or partner. Or better yet, being told that “X” needs to get completed but you only have 3 hours to do so (even though it’s 20 hours worth of work).
I could smoke any of you in a footing contest.
where’s the crackberry blog?!?! and while i’m at it, does anyone here know where i can get a free tax tables app and/or IRC for my curve?
#38 Rubber Band wars
I agree with Monica; those big rubber bands used to wrap around holding files make a weapon perfect for hitting coworkers across the office. I’ve even seen partners hitting staff with them occasionally…
How about PAs? (Paper assholes). Does anyone else on the planet use these things? How many of you have received a nasty review note because you put the work papers in the file in landscape and didn’t use PAs?
Connie: The Sharp Compet QS-2130! I’m looking at mine right now, which I stole from the firm when I left. I couldn’t imagine using any other 10-key. The consultants at my new firm covet my Compet when they have to foot (slowly) on their crappy 10-key.
How about the client?
The whole “they didn’t ask for this last year” or “I’ve been doing this for 20 years and I’ve never done that”. Ummm…. last year’s auditors were incompetent?? Oh sh*t, it was us? Must have been immaterial last year…. (see immaterial post)
And I agree with the post at #28. Everyone tries to sympathyze with “Yeah, it’s tax season – I bet your busy.” Just smile and nod…
My best one is when a client turns around to you and says “well i used to be an auditor and this is how i would have done it” thats when i know its time to tune out.
when will they do one about how we love alcohol?
write somethin about when the staff goes to lunch & orders drinks, then some partners just happen to have lunch at the same spot, and decide to “run it through” for the staff, and sees several “jack & cokes” on the bill?!?!
or during busy season when we get a meal allowance for working over 10 hrs in a day, and use it for alcohol???
I can’t wait…
oh yeah, and what about National Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day????
Cans of compressed air keyboard cleaners
What about email signatures? It takes lots of trial-and-error to get the name/title just right to impress all who receive your emails. Do you include the phone number, what about the fax number? Is your email address obvious enough or should you use larger font? Email accounts in general take at least a week to get right (font, color, etc.) My current font of choice, Calibri size 11.
I really do love budgets. and color coding. and adding machines. anything that does my work for me gets two thumbs up.
I LOVE your blog!!! I was previously in public accounting for 5 years before going into industry. My co-workers and I used to forward your blog around the floors and to other tax peeps….and laugh our a@#$es off. It was great because the sad truth is that it’s all TRUE!!! You guys are so creative – it’s refreshing……tax peeps get such a bad wrap as “boring”. Keep up the good work. XXOO’s!
Random number generators. Mmmm…random.
5-hour energy!
1. Going to the bath room for 20 minutes everyday to take a nap.
2. Surfing Auditnet.org to copy an audit program you were assigned to draft.
3. Draft report because you can never get it right the first time.
4. Scanning – Paisley was suppose to make documentation easier, now it take twice the time documenting, scanning, writing in color with adobe and importing.
5. ACL – only nerds use this tool .
Your site is effin’ hilarious. I like you.
I’m currently approaching my senior year of undergrad. My plan was to go through Big4 recruitment this upcoming fall, land a job, graduate, travel during summer, start work, and pass the CPA exam. And if all goes according to the plan, life would been gravy.
BUT ……as I read this blog. I am starting to think that life won’t be so gravy if all goes as planned.
What did any of you dream of doing before getting into the accounting world? Is this what you expected accounting to be like?
Yup, just started freshmen year in college and you guys are making accounting sound really depressing. I don’t think i want to major in it any more lmao.
Somebody licked a potato.
why?
why?
WHY?
Nobody knows.
FIN
If you don’t like your job, or you’re that miserable…hold on, get a pencil to write this down, make sure it’s real sharp, ready…don’t do it! is that so hard? Maybe change careers? I mean i know its supposed to be a funny site but holy shit, you people are depressing. I don’t get why everyone is having their period over their jobs but then do it anyways. Life is short, do what you enjoy.
It appears you actually understand plenty about this particular
subject matter and it all shows thru this amazing
article, called “Stuff Accountants Like
This is the 4th blog post, of your blog I personally went through.
But I personally love this specific one, “Stuff Accountants Like
Why has no one mentioned mechanical pencils? Am I the only pencil freak? In particular, the Pentel Kerry of which I have accumulated an irrational abundance, not mention a stock pile of lead and erasers.