Trainings are the perfect time to see coworkers, go out, and not sleep. People go to restaurants, bars, clubs, shopping centers, and do whatever as long as it doesn’t involve studying classroom materials. Accountants need to celebrate getting through a day of boring courses with copious amounts of alcohol.

When accountants need to travel for a two week training session, it is acknowledged by everyone that those two weeks will be filled with sleep deprivation, coffee, and alcohol. Accountants become so sleep deprived at training that it is a miracle they can stay awake at all during the actual training parts.

When would be a good time to schedule mandatory trainings? Popular solutions in practice have been during busy season, two days before the filing deadline, or summertime.

Trainings vary of course and can be for any purpose. Many trainings help fulfill CPE and others are just as good time wasters. There are accountants who spend most of their time attending trainings and teaching them to others.

As boring and useless as training really is (since accountants learn by doing), training is the perfect opportunity to catch up with coworkers and get completely trashed.

The standard ritual is to arrive in the morning and get coffee while your laptop takes 1/2 hour to start up. After returning from lunch and catching up on e-mails, it’s time once again to go get another cup. In fact, anytime an accountant starts feeling less than 100%, coffee is the way to go.

Coffee comes in many forms. Accountants can get coffee at Starbucks, local shops, office kitchens, instant espresso machines, and have been known to settle on tea in desperate times. Coffee is often accompanied by cookies, scones, danishes, or other snacks. It’s not always enough for an accountant to order a skinny latte, accountants sometimes have to get almond toffee cookies as well.

If you took away coffee from accountants, you could pretty much short the market as companies would all be delinquent in their required filings. Coffee really is the solution to everything, and as such, accountants can never have too much coffee.