{"id":365,"date":"2009-03-16T00:14:09","date_gmt":"2009-03-16T08:14:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/?p=365"},"modified":"2009-03-16T00:14:09","modified_gmt":"2009-03-16T08:14:09","slug":"29-perfectly-aligned-hole-punching","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/?p=365","title":{"rendered":"#29 Perfectly Aligned Hole Punching"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"672784_three_hole_puncher\"Accountants are anal retentive, because if they weren’t, they wouldn’t be accountants. This anal retentive nature shows up in everything they do, including: placing post-it flags<\/a>, mailing confirmations, taking coffee orders<\/a>, copying tickmark legends<\/a>, updating the pending list<\/a>, photocopying binders, binder clipping packets, parking in the same spot<\/a>, footing figures, tying workpaper references<\/a>, stapling workpapers, writing memos, giving comments, verifying excel formulas<\/a>, charging time, going to lunch on time<\/a>, making binder tabs, talking about people behind their back, creating the table of contents, claiming mileage, ordering office supplies, organizing their workspace, and hole punching documents.<\/p>\n

Paying attention to detail is one of an accountant’s best skills, because kissing ass only gets them so far.<\/p>\n

For a normal person, punching holes is a boring chore. The hole puncher frequently jams and can take more time to unjam than the photocopier<\/a>. Even when it’s not jammed, the hole puncher can only fit 5 pages at a time, and it makes people hate the world.<\/p>\n

For an accountant, hole punching is serious business. Holes must be punched in the same location – the EXACT same location – for each page in the binder. Failing this, the pages will be impossible to place neatly in the binder. This is an accountant’s nightmare – yes they have nightmares for things that normal people could care less about.<\/p>\n

Hole punching is so serious that accountants have even staged hole punching competitions. The winner of said competition can get a lame gift<\/a> bearing their company’s logo.<\/p>\n

Some accountants go so far as to require each person to use the exact same hole puncher for everything. The thinking here is that by using the same hole puncher day in and day out, the holes will always be punched in the same place. Although this doesn’t accomplish anything, accountants go out of their way to enforce trivial tasks.<\/p>\n

If you see an accountant planning out their hole punching strategy, don’t laugh. This is considered extremely rude. However, you can tell them that you’ve been recently having trouble punching holes in the same place each time. This will improve your relationship with the accountant. Another thing you should not do under any circumstance is tell them that hole punching is pointless and going paperless is the future.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Accountants are anal retentive, because if they weren’t, they wouldn’t be accountants. This anal retentive nature shows up in everything they do, including: placing post-it flags, mailing confirmations, taking coffee orders, copying tickmark legends, updating the pending list, photocopying binders, binder clipping packets, parking in the same spot, footing figures, tying workpaper references, stapling workpapers, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[118,119,117,120],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=365"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":381,"href":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365\/revisions\/381"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stuffaccountantslike.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}